Quit Hassling Our Chief

Dear Editor,
I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m getting cotton picking tired of reading continued criticism of our police chief over matters which hardly mean didley squat.

So Chief Jim cashed checks that weren’t made out to him. Big hairy deal. That sort of thing happens all the time. Just yesterday I forged my wife’s signature on a check to pay for that Pay Per View Triple X rated WWF event. Did she raise a stink? No, she did not.

These ne’er do wells who belittle the Chief keep bringing up this tiny amount of money, $1700. I think I’ve found more than that under the cushions of my couch. Hell, I’ve tucked more than that in the G strings of half naked ladies in strip joints. What’s the big deal?

It’s high time we quit hassling our devoted leaders and join them in bettering our community. That’s all Chief Jim wants, a finer community, preferably one with fewer malcontents like that troublemaker Bruce and the chick named Bonnie who doesn’t know how to spell her own name.

In Chief Jim, we have a fearless leader so concerned with bettering our community that he actually eavesdropped on private conversations with the Bionic Ear, an illegal device. And once, despite it being not politically correct, he even expressed concern over Negroes, putting his reputation on the line for his fellow BSers.

Chief Jim only wants what is best for Broken Springs and what’s best is a controlled populace with stifled dissent. We BS citizens deserve nothing less.

Gory Streets