It’s an Honor to Honor the Honorable Chief Kingston

Dear Editor,

I was thrilled as a pig in poop to read the article about the Broken Springs Opportunists naming the Police Chief “Servile of the Century.” There are still a few half witted people in Broken Springs who appreciate everything Chief Kingston has done for us, from illegally cashing Taser checks, to using the illegal Bionic Ear, not including the use of that wonderful N word in a public restaurant, and let’s not forget his failure to register Operation Christmas Care Bear with the State of Michigan, as is required by law. He has earned this award and more. I recommend we all go out and buy him twenty dollars worth of scratch off tickets.

I have known Chief Kingston since my days working the street corner at Slugs Drugs (1985-1992) and there was nothing he would not do to you.

Paragraph five of the Opportunist’s declaration declares that Chief Kingston “is truly, honestly, genuinely, absolutely no doubt about it in the word an outstanding specimen of a human being, later to be studied in labs by scientists in search of the perfect man. We are proud to say that we know him intimately and hold him in the highest regard, because he’s a homegrown boy made good, keeping out the outsiders, with the help of his insiders.”

That honor is very well deserved, and it is an honor to honor the Chief, who so honorably protects our honorable community, or at least the honorable people who honor him.

Very honorably yours,
Noel Schmiter