Potent and Impotent

Don’t forget to watch ABC’s Desperation tonight at 8. The Stephen King website describes the story as follows: “Located off a desolate stretch of Interstate 50, Desperation, Nevada has few connections with the rest of the world” with a Sheriff known as, “Collie Entragian, an outsize uniformed madman who considers himself the only law west of the Pecos. God forbid you should be missing a license plate or find yourself with a flat tire.”

Don’t worry. The similarities stop there, unless Broken Springs is infected by evil incarnate known only as Tak. My only criticism of Stephen King is that he too often resorts to the supernatural in his books, which is unnecessary in the world of horror. Reality is quite horrible enough, isn’t it? As Edmund Burke said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” And as Shallow Throat says, “There’s always too much of nothing going on in Broken Springs.”

Thank you to everyone (all 51 of you) who voted in the last NFBS poll. Results were lopsided. Well over one half of those polled still believe in that ancient right of free speech, which is encouraging. But nearly a quarter of the respondents voted for me to “roll over like a dog.” If it’s any consolation to those people, I already did that once and like Monica with Bill, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Been there, done that. Never again.

A big thanks also goes out to El Gordo Davis, who brought tasers up again at the last police commission meeting. And here I was thinking the millage election would be boring… now that tasers are back on the table, anything could happen. There’s nothing like 50,000 volts of electricity to liven up a debate. But after the next police commission meeting, I think I’m gonna let Cathy Pullonhertoeifshehollerslethergo copy my notes just so she doesn’t jeopardize her journalistic integrity any further. It’s one thing to paraphrase quotes, but quite another to pull them out of that chunk of flesh you sit on during every meeting. I hate being more accurate than the actual press. If anyone is sincerely interested in what’s actually said at commission meetings, I encourage them to go to the meetings and listen for themselves. That’s a much better option than going by Cathy’s write-ups or my spoofed meeting minutes. Meetings are the second Monday of each month at 7:00 at the Township Hall. Don’t forget the popcorn!

I feel obligated to warn you, however, that police commission meetings are never quite as exciting as crosstown classic baseball games between the White Sox and Cubs.

Cat Got Their Tongue?

By Chocolate Thunda, back in the saddle again

Has anyone realized that the whole letter business has come and gone without a mere mention from a certain local "Paper?” Also, the police commission has yet to defend their mayor and police chief publicly. Isn't it odd that the issue has not been even so much as brought up by either of these organizations? They’ve been as silent as a whore in church. Here are two lists that might shed some light on the issue.

Top Five reasons The Journalistic Error has chosen not to publish the letter from the Sissy Girl Three, AKA the Three Stooges.

5. The letter got lost in the mail.
4. The multi-syllabic words in the letter were too big for the Error and for the typical Error subscriber who doesn‘t possess a dictionary.
3. There’s a secret “nudge, nudge, wink, wink” arrangement between Chief Kingston and Cathy Pullonmyfingerifshefartsletmego, assuring not to publicize how moronic and un-American the letter actually is.
2. The Pollution has done such a good job covering the story, the Error has decided not to place further comment into the matter.

And the number one reason the paper has yet to publish the C&D story is…
1. There are already enough idiotic articles in the Journalistic Error.

But wait, there's more!!!

Top Five Reasons the Police Commission won't bring up the issue.

5. The Alzheimer’s prone members forgot to bring it up in their "meeting" before the meeting.
4. The letter got lost in the shuffle of Millage Election Preparation.
3. Chief Kingston was holding the commission at gunpoint under the table, keeping them from talking. What’s that you say? That wasn’t a gun in his pocket? Well, that’s another article entirely.
2. The letter got lost in the mail, or given the competence of our postal employees, has yet to reach its destination.

And the number one reason the Commission won’t bring up the C&D issue is…
1. The police commission already has enough trouble trying to figure out how to balance their budget.

I'm here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress!

Local Editor Flogs Blogs, But Doesn’t Proofread

In this week’s Journalistic Error, editor Cathy Pullanhertoeifshehollarslethergo took a stab at her blogo-sphere compatriots by publishing a syndicated column written last year by Kathleen Parker entitled “Lord of the Blogs.“ But her reprint (with permission) includes a couple glaring inconsistencies and typos that scream for the attention of the local blogs, such as News From Broken Springs.

The first of these inconsistencies is the title itself, as you can see from the online link above is “Lord of the Blogs.” In the Journalistic Error, however, the title has been changed to “All About Bloggers,” as if it’s an encyclopedia entry about those who write Webblogs. A literate reader will note that Parker’s title doesn’t proclaim the article to be an extensive informational column on bloggers. Yet the Error Editor insists that Parker’s article is “all” there is to know about those who blog, when the article itself is an ad hominem editorial classifying the typical blogger as spoiled, undisciplined, lacking in wisdom and civility, immature, and better off ignored than read.

Anticipating that most Journalistic Error readers won’t bother to read an article on a seemingly irrelevant non-local issue by a conservative Florida columnist, Error’s Editor sums up “Lord of the Blogs” with her own propagandist subtitle, “Beware and resist the ego-gratifying pack that contributes only snark, sass and destruction.” That subtitle, although attributed to Ms. Parker in the Journalistic Error, is at best a paraphrase of Ms. Parker’s elegant prose near the end of her article: “But we should beware and resist the rest of the ego-gratifying rabble who contribute only snark, sass and destruction.”

The following questions must be asked. Why the subtle word change? Does the Journalistic Error simply prefer the word "pack" to "rabble" or is it something more clever and sinister than that? Could the Fairy Street Editor (whose favorite color is yellow) be subliminally insinuating that local bloggers are closer to wolves in the evolutionary spectrum than they are to civil humans who routinely vote in favor of police millages and read every word in the Journalistic Error as bona fide fact?

Does she wish to manipulate Parker’s words to match her own reality in Broken Springs where a “pack” of critical citizens have set up blogs and reported on the inadequacies of her weekly rag?

If (one can only hope) the Error truly feels threatened by these local blogs, does Pullanhertoe… condone the suppression of ideas and opinion in the online world? And lastly, if all this is true, shouldn’t she be checking the Iranian Want Ads for her next editorial job?


Another error in the Journalistic Error’s edition of the blog flog fluff piece is in the line “Likewise, many bloggers see the destruction of others for their own self-aggrandizement.” The actual article states, “Likewise, many bloggers seek the destruction of others for their own self-aggrandizement.” This lackluster news editing (carried on throughout every issue) flies in the face of most high grammatical standards in the newsprint world. The Error may defend the Broken Springs Police but apparently it enjoys running afoul of the grammar police. To be fair to Ms. Pullanhertoe.., much of her time is taken up by being on the Board of His Directory for Operation Christmas Care Bear and the Chamber of Combust. The spring vacations to Florida beaches are awfully time consuming, as well.

An entire half page was wasted in the reprinting of Parker’s article, which could have been read fresh off the page three months ago on the Op-Ed page of the Herald Republican at a cheaper newsstand price. The space in the Error could and should have been better utilized, perhaps by printing another letter to the editor praising Chief Kingston, or maybe with an architectural sketch of the soon to be renovated Broken Springs downtown area.

In any event, three cheers for the Journalistic Error and its infamous Yellow Editor for once again drawing attention to renegade blogs like News From Broken Springs and the BS Underground Reader. Our traffic thanks you.