Friday, July 13, 2007

Attention Readers

Be on the lookout for the following suspicious looking people.

This man is NOT a real cop. And if he was, he certainly wouldn't be working in Broken Springs. Clearly, he has bought that uniform on eBay in an effort to swoon innocent Broken Springs women into the backseat of his Mercedes Benz (which is NOT a real squad car, despite what he may tell you).

Ladies (and gentlemen... come on, look how hot he is), be forewarned. Now that the Broken Springs Police Department is auctioning off their extra police uniforms, everyone must be extra vigilant in noticing impostures.

I repeat. This man is NOT a real cop. Do not let him frisk you. That's NOT a gun in his holster. Here is your first clue to this man's scam: He didn't even bother to buy the uniform pants. That is *so* against dress code.

Likewise, the woman above is NOT a real cop. In fact, she's recently spent time behind bars for being a lowdown, rotten criminal. Men of Broken Springs... do not fall for her guiles. If she asks you to assume the position, high tail it out of there. Do not look back.

She's obviously just bought that BS Officer uniform on eBay (Liddie Bruehlman warned us about this). Again, she is NOT a real cop. Please don't be fooled. The only thing she's armed with is a video camcorder. If she strip searches you, the film may be leaked to the Internet.

Consider this your only warning.

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