Friday, December 16, 2005

Potent and Impotent

A big shout out to Sharon Alexander for her recent free advertising in the Herald Republican’s Letters to the Editor. For those who might’ve missed it, Ms. Alexander was referring to Troublemaker Boob’s BSU Reader Blog, but since she called it “satirical garbage,” “atrocious,” “blatant and shameful,” and “a slap in the face to the men who serve this community,” we think she meant us as well. Oh, we almost forgot “obscene,” which reminds me… where’d I put those naked pictures of Jim Kingston?

Locals will have no doubt heard about the cougar on the loose in Broken Springs. There have been many sightings already. Just yesterday a flesh eating beast was seen entering the police station on all fours, carrying a badge and gun. But that turned out to be a false alarm. The cougar, they say, doesn’t have so much hair on his back.

Residents are advised to shoot on sight any trespassing dangerous animal snooping around their livestock, unless of course it’s Daniel Shame inspecting a blight ordinance violation.

After waiting all year to get here, Winter has finally arrived in Broken Springs. He’s brought with him his gay lover, Snow. Snow loves to be blown by older men in their driveways, day in and day out. Snow also has this tendency to land in a big pile across from the post office, hindering one’s ability to see down Main street. Be advised. Snow is planning to stay in Broken Springs, along with his butt buddy Winter, until early next Spring.

Thank you, Broken Springs Cop (you know who you are) who called this site “funny.” Your sense of humor is greatly appreciated and if you ever have any ideas for articles, don’t hesitate to send them along. Don’t worry. I won’t tell the Chief if you don’t.

And now for a Christmas themed joke sent in by another of our regular readers:

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into Heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates," said Saint Peter.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter told him, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols."

Until next time, downward and sideways!

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