Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Millage Passes!

In other news, sky still blue, grass still green.

Broken Springs loves her cops. The top heavy staff of 7 full time and 4 reserve officers are again sighing in relief after the passing of the most recent millage renewal on Tuesday. Voters decided by almost a two to one margin to throw more tax dollars at the department this year, as they approved a four mill renewal of last year’s three mill plus one. Advocates emphasized that this year’s vote was only a renewal, not an increase, and over 600 local residents swallowed, hook, line, and sinker. In fact, the margin of victory was so overwhelming that police supporters immediately regretted not asking for 5 mills instead of four.

“Clearly, the citizens of Broken Springs realize good police coverage when they see it,” said Mayor Jan Chaddwick, celebrating with a triple dipped ice cream cone from McDonalds. “Next year, when we ask for another additional mill to offset our undisciplined spending out of our bare bones budget, we’re going to include a clause that guarantees increases in subsequent years, as a courtesy to the voter so they won’t have to be bothered by inconvenient elections. What better way to say thank you to Broken Springs?”

The police millage was never seriously in jeopardy, as primary opponents spent much of their free time opining on silly internet blogsites and drawing fake moustaches on pictures of village officials. Millage passings are a given in Broken Springs, unless they’re for the public school system.

NFBS called the police department for a comment on their victory but our calls were not returned by the time this article went to press. We can only assume that Broken Springs’s Finest have nabbed another bad check writer, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that our tax dollars are already hard at work.

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