Thursday, September 15, 2005

By the Hair on Her Chinny Chin Chin...

After being called a bald faced liar by the Chief of Police, Broken Springs resident Bonii Dydjaseedat has began growing a beard and mustache. Chief Jim Kingston called Ms. Dydjaseedat a liar after she accused his golden boy, Patrolman Daniel Shame of being gone for two and a half hours while sharpening his archery skills in Broken Township while he was still on duty.

“I’m personally offended by this accusation,“ whimpered the Chief, choking back tears. “Patrolman Shame was gone for no more than 34 minutes, and I have the tapes to prove it,” said Kingston at this week’s Police Commission meeting.

“I wonder what kind of tapes he means? Duct tapes? Scotch tapes? He certainly can’t mean police video tapes, as those are conveniently out of service except when they coincidently back up a cop’s story,” said Ms. Dydjaseedat.

Kingston clarified that he was indeed referring to the squad car’s video tape, which recorded exactly 34 minutes of Shame’s playful exploits with a bow and arrow. An uncensored version of the tape has found its way onto the internet with the clever title, “Daniel Shame Screwing the People of Broken Springs.” Bonii insists the tapes were doctored and says the proof is in the pudding.

“I’ve downloaded the tape, and there’s no way Shame’s arrow is that big,” she told NFBS as she scratched at her five o’clock shadow.

“Why the beard and moustache?” we asked her.

“Simple. By growing facial hair, I will be proving Kingston to be a bold faced liar when he called me a bald faced liar,” she answered as she twirled her finger around her handlebar moustache.

“Also it will serve as a disguise for when I stalk the cops,” she added with a smile.

1 comment:

Rycrisp said...