Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Potent and Impotent...

Greetings and salutations fellow BSers, from your favorite editor, Shallow Throat and the illustrious staff of 30 (fingers) at NFBS.

This is a new column we’ve decided to add occasionally in order to editorialize the news. Also because we can’t think of anything else to write. It will be a brief randomization of bits and pieces that cannot fit in regular columns.

There is a new BS Blog upon the horizon, written by our friend and cohort, Troublemaker Bob.

Lots of readers write in asking about the origins of the name ‘Shallow Throat.' I nicked it from a local homemade movie entitled Betty Sue Does Broken Springs. In the movie, ‘Shallow Throat’ was a nickname her daddy gave her.

Many days ago I decided to take all the profits (ha!) from my amazon ads and donate them to the Katrina Relief funds. I am doing this in lieu of paying off those pesky subscription bills that a friendly reader sent my way. Thank you, friendly reader! I am enjoying my subscriptions to Motor Home and Brides magazine. In fact, I am thinking of starting my own magazine. It will be a combination of Motor Home and Brides and I think I’ll call it Shotgun Weddings. All the brides will be at least three months pregnant and the grooms will all sport mullets.

Sources tell us that Strange Line Grocery recently installed a Drive Thru. I’ve been by there a few times and as far as I can tell, they must be planning a grand opening of some sort, during which time they’ll reveal their new drive thru from beneath that spiffy looking blue tarp.

Informants reveal that over the weekend, Mrs. Daniel Shame was seen camping with her dog. Upon further inspection, it was discovered that the creature in question was actually slightly taller than a dog. Some have speculated that it might’ve actually been her husband but since the creature was not carrying a bow while in uniform, I cannot comment any further at this time. Except to say cut the man some slack already. We should all be on our knees showing our gratitude. It’s a RUFF life being a cop.

Which reminds me of a joke sent in by a reader.

James and Dan meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. Dan has a his pet dog with him. On the next green when Dan holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs.
James is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt??"
"Somersaults? How many can he do?”
Dan thinks for a minute. "Depends on how hard I kick him!”

Until next time,
Always remember, shallow waters run still.

1 comment:

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