Potent and Impotent

The buzz around town is that Slater’s Supermarket is moving to Australia. They’ve already begun to move many of their items off the local shelves. Why Australia? Rumor has it that they are going down ‘under.’ We can only assume their decision has something to do with packaging improvements. The bagboys will no longer ask, “Paper or plastic?” Instead it’ll be, “Kangaroo pouch or alligator bag?”

Be sure to vote in our new weekly poll. If you have any suggestions for future poll questions be sure to email them to berrienspringsmi@yahoo.com.

Has anyone seen TC, our recently hired Cougar Columnist? He was last seen a couple days ago walking paw in paw with Lady Lucy (as he called her) down on Lover’s Lane. He’s past deadline and will not answer his cell phone. The idle bugger has probably turned it off, which is strictly against the rules in his contract.

The third chapter of Brokeback Springs is on its way. The author is trying to find inoffensive euphemisms for butt sex. Look for it later this week.

Here is a joke that all Kingston apologists should enjoy:

A Zebra dies and arrives in Heaven. As he enters the Pearly Gates, he asks St. Peter, "Am I a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes?"

St Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer."

So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please, I must know. Am I a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes?"

God simply replied "You are what you are."

The next time the zebra saw St. Peter, the saint asked him, "Well, did God answer your question?"

The zebra looked puzzled. "No, God simply said, ‘you are what you are.‘”

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, that answers it. You are a white horse with black stripes."

The zebra said, "How do you know that?"

"Because," said St. Peter, "if you were a black horse with white stripes, God would have said, ‘You is what you is.’”